I told my roommate he was putting the tp on..... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: foreveralone-lyguy: I told my roommate he was putting the tp on backwards and then I find this My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!
Me & My Dad telling My Step Mom I'm Gay
Step Mom: Our Server was checking you out, Haley.
Me: Uh, that's nice.
Step Mom: What, you don't think he's cute?
Dad: She's Gay Tammy.
Step-Mom: Well whats so good about eating Pussy?
Dad: Tammy, my daughter is gay. She eats Pussy; Yes, but it's not just about eating Pussy. She loves the Pussy, she admires the Pussy, she tends to the Pussy, she moves inside the Pussy . . . She is one with the Pussy, because, my daughter is Gay . . . She loves the Pussy.
(Longest Awkward Silence Ever)
Me: You said Pussy like 5 times . . .
Dad: 8 times Hunny, now finish your Burger.
Imagine being thrown from a plane, late at night, into the nothingness of the unknown. Not knowing how far you are from the ground, if a tree is going to break your fall, if the ocean is waiting to embrace you, if a safety net is waiting to rescue you, if you’re dreaming… This is how love makes me feel. Helpless, hopeful, wanting the fall to end, wishing I had never left the plane. Agony and hope...